The actual Lord paid Me a Visit!
Last night as I lay sleeping, I was suddenly awoken by a voice. In deep baritone, my name, “Dung, Dung wake up”! At first only one eye opened, I was still in a half slumbering state, then again only a bit louder “Dung”. I knew, immediately that there was someone there in the darkness and I became sore afraid. The voice commanded ever so gently “be not afraid my son” “Who are you and what do you want”? I blurted out. “I am the Lord God the Creator.” "Wow, and you are here in my room tonight, for what purpose”? God said. “read your blog, I have – made things clear, written well you have. I especially like the essay called “The Bible, as fake news” “I thought, that was one of my best.” “Yes it is” God said, " for millennia now I wondered how to reverse that assholes work” My eyes bulged at the Lords reference to the human anatomy. “Don’t be shocked my son I am a pretty regular guy and [father dammit],AKA (also known/stated, as god dammit) Satan is an asshole and a pain in the ass to God” “Okay” I said “what do you want of me?”
“You have given heaven a chance to reclaim humanity, till now we were stumped, (similar to when we created Earth and humanity and went silent, (for 190,000 years or so) 'frankly everyone in heaven kept saying now what" anyway I was wondering, as to how to debunk that bullshit, word of god, Bible crap, where I run around killing people and helpless animals on a flat world. And taking sides, condoning the burning of so called witches, and stoning perfectly nice women. Well you get the picture don’t you Dung?, that book has me portrayed as a raving, fear mongering lunatic and a moron to boot, it’s got to stop.” “Well I agree” I told the Lord,” but I am old and tired and no one will listen”. Secretly I was thinking "why don't you do something" forgetting who I was dealing with" God said its been hands off (he read my mind) from the get go, if humans are going to make it they will do it on their own. All that freakin praying used to drive us nuts until we discovered how not to listen." "I didn't;t ask"
"Look Dung,
”you pointed out the real author’s of the bible, just keep doing what your doing it’s all anyone can do” I just came here to let you know that I am aware of how difficult this is, exposing the lies but you do it in spite of the fear and loss of friends and family, and heaven says thanks. “
” Thank you for saying that. And, I mean Lord, do I tell people you came to me?” "It’s your blog my son” “How can I be sure this really happened?” ” I will give you 3 signs tomorrow, look for them, then you will know I was here” And I was surprised how quickly I nodded off.
So this morning I was having my doubts about the visitation, when this happened. Wait now that I think of it, how come Maria didn't wake up? Any way there is a red squirrel living in our wood shed, I see him every morning, but he has never ever looked at me. Well, this morning he not only looked me right in the eye, he winked and smiled – "Wow that’s one I said". I went about my morning and the remaining 2 pending signs retreated to the background of my mind. Then while pouring pancake batter into the pan, the second sign instantly blew me away, there in the center of the pan was the likeness of the Lord in the sizzling pancake batter, ‘that’s two” I even yelled it out. Then the normalcy of the day unfolded and I’d completely forgotten about the third sign. It was around 3 PM and I was getting ready for my afternoon walk, as I was getting dressed I noticed that my incontinence had abated and that I would not need my Depends, “thank you Lord” I said, knowing full well that this was the third sign and a miracle to boot, from the Lord. And so it has come to pass that I, Dung Teller having been entreated by my Lord from this day on and to my last dying breath, will do to the best of my ability, answer the call of heaven and do as the Lord has requested me and debunk the bull shit (gods words not mine) of the Devils words better known as the Bible. Can I get an Amen?
Amen this is DT in the Heartland. See "Bible as Fake News" See also "Why its Folly to Believe"
